all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.