Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
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Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.