Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
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i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
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Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys