He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.