He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"