Texts From Last Night

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(541): View more from Oregon

She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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(541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc

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(203): View more from Connecticut

have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

omg every time its on

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(203): have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj (1-203): omg every time its on http://tfl.nu/6fsg

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(423): View more from Tennessee

By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.

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(423): By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves. http://tfl.nu/ijd4

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(847): View more from Illinois

You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.

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(847): You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more. http://tfl.nu/i4ry

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(540): View more from Virginia

woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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(540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j

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(713): View more from Texas

I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?

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(713): I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit? http://tfl.nu/mgmc

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(585): View more from New York

Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.

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(585): Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories. http://tfl.nu/56hq

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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(405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm

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(214): View more from Texas

On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.

(1-214): View more from Texas

You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously

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(214): On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi. (1-214): You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously http://tfl.nu/z61a

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(435): View more from Utah

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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(435): Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood http://tfl.nu/j2rr

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(828): View more from North Carolina

what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before

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(828): what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before http://tfl.nu/qvbs

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(516): View more from New York

Are you with Adam and his vodka?

(1-516): View more from New York

Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde

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(224): View more from Illinois

it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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(224): it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday. http://tfl.nu/m5qz

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(571): View more from Virginia

non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

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(571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do. http://tfl.nu/8y8e

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(407): View more from Florida

I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.

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(407): I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up. http://tfl.nu/laen

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