So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
