Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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