This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
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Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??