I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians