Texts From Last Night

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.

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(610): he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen. http://tfl.nu/e13s

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(334): View more from Alabama

i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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(334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...

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(502): so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina... http://tfl.nu/yr74

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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(402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty http://tfl.nu/i6m7

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(561): View more from Florida

he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

(1-561): View more from Florida

you for real need to get over him dude

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(561): he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore. (1-561): you for real need to get over him dude http://tfl.nu/fa43

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(805): View more from California

Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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(805): Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head... http://tfl.nu/1do3

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(240): View more from Maryland

EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.

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(240): EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff. http://tfl.nu/5eqp

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(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

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(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss http://tfl.nu/d23g

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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(319): I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles http://tfl.nu/zz0g

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Maybe she gives good head

(615): View more from Tennessee

A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head

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(731): Maybe she gives good head (615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head http://tfl.nu/5nox

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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(802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic." http://tfl.nu/uvkh

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(503): View more from Oregon

It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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(503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ice luge is my downfall...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...u mean upfall.

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(732): ice luge is my downfall... (1-732): ...u mean upfall. http://tfl.nu/2rlo

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(352): View more from Florida

Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

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(352): Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want. http://tfl.nu/d61s

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(847): View more from Illinois

So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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(847): So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be http://tfl.nu/8bju

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