there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
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it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.