Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.