Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Follow @tfln