Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight