at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...