these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
