Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?