Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section