And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
