I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dating After Heartbreak
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.