i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.