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Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
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