Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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