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That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The beer is more important than you right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
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