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i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
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