I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't like sucking hair
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
