Texts From Last Night · dstracqtion's Favorites

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dstracqtion's Favorites Texts:

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(501): View more from Arkansas

There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

Fav 4 1636 589
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(248): View more from Michigan

Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."

Fav 6 4987 1800
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(440): View more from Ohio

My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

Fav 16 6691 1665
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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

Fav 10 10146 1540
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(618): View more from Illinois

was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?

Fav 10 3400 1047
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(308): View more from Nebraska

You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

Fav 13 5735 1460
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(214): View more from Texas

I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

Fav 12 12056 1477
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(510): View more from California

Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

Fav 65 21685 2539
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