4 words: hood of his car
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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