I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
sarcasm needs its own font
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine