whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
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I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
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i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.