considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
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HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
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I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.