It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip