I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,