there's paper in my vomit.
i barfeds in our rink
I smell stomach acid.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
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Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?