We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"