I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping