I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot