That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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