Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
