I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
