this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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