it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
