And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
