Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
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It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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