you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
