It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
