Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize