I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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