So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
