Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
