Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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