i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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