i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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