i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
