Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
