i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
