He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
