If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
