chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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