When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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